Sheffield's Lyceum Theatre.

Photo copyright Gregory Deryckére . Re-used under this Creative Commons License.

When it was announced in the late 1980s that they were going to do up and re-open the Lyceum Theatre, I thought it was madness. What a squalid and appalling looking building it was, surely fit only for demolition.

But what a fool I was. For it wasn't just re-opened, it was transformed into a thing almost unrecognisable, changing into something vaguely reminiscent of an overgrown cake.

I must admit that my entire experience of having been inside the Lyceum is of attending a version of Dick Whittington starring Vince Hill in the late 1960s. This would have made me four at the time, meaning it's remarkable that my memories of the visit are so clear.

I remember Vince striding around with his worldly possessions dangling in a spotted hanky from the end of a stick.

I remember his cat looking suspiciously like a woman in a costume. I was most impressed by her tail.

Most of all I remember my nan telling me the theatre's boxes were for visiting royalty, like the queen, to sit in. I can confess I was highly disappointed that the queen didn't show up for that performance.

And you know what? She's not shown up in my life at any other point either. Grrr.

Sheffield's Town Hall TARDIS.

Photo by David Rogers [CC-BY-SA-2.0], via Wikimedia Commons

What kind of fool am I to have got so far into this blog without ever having once mentioned the most important structure in the history of Sheffield?

I am, of course, referring to Sheffield's TARDIS, parked just outside the Town Hall; no doubt so the Doctor can rush into the building and sort out the council, once and for all, with his sonic screwdriver.

The door's sometimes left open, meaning you can see the interior. Rather disappointingly, it's not bigger on the inside, not does it have a control console. Clearly that must be a trick the Doctor's pulled to lure his enemies into a false sense of security.

Unlike that one on TV, Sheffield's TARDIS is made of concrete. Just what you need for keeping out daleks. Or, as they're known in Sheffield, Dee Dah Leks.

Sheffield St Marie's Catholic Cathedral.

Photo by Chris Downer [CC-BY-SA-2.0], via Wikimedia Commons

Hooray! It's Sheffield's Catholic Cathedral, otherwise known as St Marie's Church, which manages to be even less impressive than its nearby Anglican counterpart. Somehow you can't help feeling the city got the fuzzy end of the lollipop when it came to religious buildings.

Admittedly I've never been inside, so it might be magnificence itself in there but, given the modesty of its exterior, I suspect it isn't.

Still, at least its existence means the city can boast it has two cathedrals, which is something not every town can claim.

Nearby, in this shot, can be seen the octagonal roof of the Crucible Theatre and, beyond that, the listed monolith that is Park Hill Flats.

Sheffield Cathedral.

Photo by Chris Downer [CC-BY-SA-2.0], via Wikimedia Commons

I was going to say Sheffield's Anglican Cathedral is possibly the worst cathedral on the planet Earth, as it's clearly just an ordinary church that someone's decided to pretend is something rather grander. But then I remembered we have an even worse cathedral on nearby Norfolk Street.

I'm not sure what it says about me but one of my favourite thrills as a child was walking over the graves in its courtyard and knowing there were people buried down there. I'm not sure if those graves are still there, or if they were removed to make way for the more recent Supertram shenanigans.

Still, despite appearances, it does have at least something in common with the Sagrada Familia in Barcelona, which is that, like that building, it's not finished. After World War Two, there was a plan to enlarge it and add an extra spire. Sadly, that never happened, although a more modest extension was added in the 1960s. Despite being in a far more modern style than the rest of the building, the extension fits in surprisingly well and is the sticky-forward bit on the left of the above photo.